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http://www.erinpavlina.com/stories/once-again.htm

Once Again
by Erin Pavlina

It was time for me to make my decision. The Rishi had shown me what I needed to see in that pool of his that seemed to mesmerize and enchant me every time I gazed into it. How captivating and beautiful to see the Earth from such a vantage. The image in the water clouded over, and the Rishi turned to me, his deep eyes questioning.

“Is this acceptable to you?” he asked.

“Let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” I replied. “I work out my karma with that particular individual spirit, and then I can come home?”

“Yes, you may” he replied.

“That family you’ve selected for me… they seem really nice, but how will they help me with the karma I need to work out?”

The Rishi said, “You will need to find the inner strength to stand up for yourself. You won’t be able to rely on your family to do it for you.”

“That seems easy enough. I mean, what this individual is going to do to me is pretty awful. I can’t imagine tolerating it for very long. Should be a nice, easy task for me.”

The Rishi looked at me with great compassion. “One would think.”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll just deal with the situation compassionately. I’m sure that will be enough.”

The Rishi said, “Unfortunately, it’s your great compassion that will trap you in this situation. What you will need instead is some courage.”

That put a damper on my happiness. Although I liked to think I had courage, I had spent many lifetimes running from persecution instead of standing up for my beliefs. If I was honest with myself, I was a little concerned about finding that courage.

“Well,” I said hesitatingly, “I can see that this is an important lesson for me, and I know it’s important for me to work out my karma with this soul once and for all. Have you discussed it with him as well?”

“Yes, he will be coming from a place of great fear and feelings of abandonment. Your compassion will draw you to him, and then your karma will play out. Do not fear. Even while you are experiencing great physical and emotional pain, remember that you are loved and that the pain is temporary.”

What I saw in the pool concerned me a little. The violence, the fear, the sadness … I worried it would overwhelm me. In my weakness I had ended several of my lives too soon. Lack of courage had crippled me before, and I didn’t want that to happen again.

“From what I could see in the pool, there will be no one around to help me. Am I to be alone in dealing with this?” I asked.

The Rishi replied, “Of course not. There will be people in your life who will lend you courage if you can recognize them. And your connection to your spirit will guide you considerably. The more you remember where you came from, the faster your karma will work itself out. He will not remember his choice to incarnate, but you will. That might be enough for you.”

I looked at the Rishi and wavered for a moment. I had to admit that I was afraid of the life I was about to accept. The Rishi saw my energy recede and reached out his hands to me. I gratefully drew some of his energy into my spirit and felt his love for me.

“Remember where you come from and do not fear. You cannot be truly harmed. You have the opportunity to transform him, to help him learn acceptance and love. You are up to the task, or I would not let you incarnate.”

“I know,” I whispered softly. “I just like being here at home so much. But I know this is important, and it’s something I want to do. Please make the arrangements.”

The Rishi nodded. Then he said, “There is one more arrangement we need to discuss. As you know, Earth is reaching a critical juncture in its spiritual evolution. We would like you to stay and help people remember where they come from. People have become disconnected with their spirits, and the energy of the planet is turning towards fear. That must change and soon.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that. It pains me to see so many people living in fear. I’ve spent nearly two dozen lifetimes trying to remind people where they come from. Being burned at the stake and hung until my neck snaps kind of soured me on the whole experience. They’ll just have to find their way like everyone else. I have no idea how to help them anymore.”

The Rishi smiled kindly, “I know that you have been unsuccessful in the past, but this time it will be different. This time you and your soul mate will be able to work together to achieve what alone you could not. But you cannot meet him until you are done working through your karma with the other soul first. At that time you will be given a choice of whether to stay on Earth and help with its evolution or come home. I can tell you that at the time you are given this choice you will be anxious to return home for healing. But if you stay, your reward will be greater than any you could imagine.”

My soul mate. In every life I’d ever lived he was there with me. Sometimes as a lover, sometimes as friend, and sometimes as merely an acquaintance. It was rare that our individual spiritual journeys allowed us to spend an entire life together.

“What is it that we can do together that we can’t do alone? And what will happen to his mission if I choose to come home instead?” I asked.

“If you agree to stay on Earth, he will teach you courage, and you will teach him love and compassion. You will awaken his spirit and pull aside the veil for him. He will remember where he comes from and be able to draw upon our spiritual energy to help raise the energy of the planet. Without you, however, his success will be largely material instead of spiritual.”

Hmm. I knew I was in desperate need of courage, and I knew the planet needed to move towards love energy instead of fear energy. The thought of being able to help people appealed to me so much, but I had been burned (literally) so many times before.

“I know what you’re thinking,” the Rishi said, interrupting my thoughts, “but let me reassure you that you can succeed in your mission with him at your side. We believe that with our help the two of you could successfully raise the energy of the planet to a state of love, peace, and harmony. You will be given many spiritual gifts to keep the lines of energy open, and you may draw upon our knowledge and wisdom as needed. He will raise the energy of the people he meets by shaking them awake because that is what many of them need at this time. We are running out of options, and it’s time for a warrior’s compassion. The combination of courage and compassion are what this planet needs now.”

I was moved by what he said, and my hope for the people of our planet welled up inside me again. Could it be possible? Could one lifetime be enough?

The Rishi said, “With the two of you working together, yes. We believe you will have a profound impact on the planet. But remember, it is a choice you will need to make after you have been ‘burned’ as you like to put it. As I said, you will want to come home. You have that option, and we will embrace your spirit when you arrive. We are asking you to have faith in the union we will arrange for you. We are asking you to have faith in yourself.”

Something stirred inside me. I hadn’t dared hope it was possible to help people anymore. I just wanted to deal with my karma and get back home as soon as possible. The Rishi waved his hand over the pool and said, “Let me give you a glimpse of what you and he could accomplish.” I peered intently into the water as cloudy vapor swirled over the surface and finally cleared. What I saw caused my energy to swell. I felt excitement, hope, and joy.

“Yes! I want this! Please, I want this more than anything!” I gushed.

The Rishi smiled, “Remember, it is entirely up to you. When the time comes you will need faith and a little courage. The road will be long and there will be missteps along the way. But if you two stay the course, the benefit to the planet will be enormous. And know this … we have faith in you two.”

I hugged the Rishi and said, “We won’t let you down! You can count on us. Thank you for this opportunity. You have restored my faith.”

The Rishi said, “We wouldn’t be sending you on this mission if you didn’t have the faith you needed. You just had to be reminded of it.”

I said, “I’m ready to go. Let’s do it!”

The Rishi smiled. “Very well.” He waved his hand over my eyes and I could feel the veil being drawn. It was perhaps the saddest part of incarnating; that loss of memory that occurs so that we can move our spirits into a body that vibrates at a much lower frequency than when we are in the ether. The disconnect with Source is necessary, so it is accepted. I took some solace in knowing that I would retain some of that knowledge while growing up as a physical being. Others weren’t as lucky. But it was a right I had earned from years of working on my spiritual growth.

***

I touched the life of the woman who would give my body birth and entered her womb. I was surprised to find I was not alone. A twin? How interesting. Perhaps it was the Rishi’s way of reminding me that I would never be truly alone. I couldn’t wait to see my soul mate again. I knew there would be pain before that, but I clung to the knowledge of what lay beyond it. I held on tight to the final vision the Rishi had given me as the veil was drawn around me … once again.

http://www.erinpavlina.com/stories/appointment.htm

The Appointment
by Erin Pavlina

As she rode in the back of the black limousine she was uncomfortably reminded of the first time she had been in such a vehicle. She had been just 6 years old and didn’t understand what cancer was; all she knew was that it could take someone you love out of your life forever. The big black car came and took her and her father to the cemetery, where she saw all the relatives she usually saw only at Thanksgiving. She asked her father where her mother was. “She’s in Heaven, child,” her father replied, choking back tears. At her home, after the funeral, she asked many of the people eating sandwiches where Heaven was, but everyone gave her different answers. Curious, she decided to find out for herself. She chewed a handful of tablets from the high cupboard that her mother always warned her never to eat, and fell asleep. She awoke to find herself being held by loving arms and surrounded by an intense white light. She gazed into the soft face of her mother. “Mommy! You’re here! I missed you!” she cried and tried to reach out to hug her. Her mother smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes too. “No, my child. It is not your time. Go live your life, and do not grieve for me. Someday, you’ll understand.” Before she could question her mother about Heaven, she felt herself rudely pulled back into her body. She awoke in the hospital, her father standing over her. He looked sad.

As she grew, she was still curious about death and where a person went when they died. When she was 15 she went to sleep one night and heard a baby crying. Without thinking, she flew out of her bed, through the walls of her house, down many streets, until she came to a dumpster. The baby was wailing, inside, alone, and it was dying. She tried to pick the baby up but her hands passed through. The baby looked at her for a moment, then stopped crying. She saw its soul leave its body and felt it pass through her. A feeling of contentment settled upon her. When she woke that morning from her strange dream, she was surprised to read in the morning paper that a dead baby had been found in a dumpster just a few blocks away from her home. A chill passed through her.

When she was 17 she woke one night to find herself hurtling through the sky, being pulled along by some invisible cord. She careened through trees and streetlights, and was even yanked through a brick wall. Inside an old apartment building, she saw an old man lying in a bed, and he was moaning. She got closer and saw that his face was horribly burned. He reached out for her and she recoiled from his touch. He croaked, “Help me…” She gasped and found herself back at home in her bed. But no sooner did she close her eyes than she found herself hurtling back through the night sky. This time she journeyed faster and found herself back at the old man’s bedside. “Please… help me. I don’t know what to do.” She looked around the room and saw a bright light swirling in the corner. As she walked closer to that light she could feel warmth, security, and love. And she remembered how she felt when she saw her mother that day in Heaven. Instinctively, she knew what had happened. “Sir, I think you’re dead. You need to go into this light.” But the old man shrunk back against his covers and said, “No, I am scared. I can’t!” She took him by the hand and pulled him from his bed. Together they moved towards the light and she told him to simply stretch out his hand and all would be well. He touched the light tentatively and a smile came to his frightened face. He was absorbed into the light. She wanted to go too. She remembered how peaceful it was in the light. She inched towards it and felt its loving tendrils grasp her wrist. As she tried to step in, however, she was repelled by an invisible force. She tried to shove past it, but it was too strong. “Take me too! I want to be with my mother!” And then a woman stepped out from the light, but it wasn’t her mother. She was dressed in simple white robes that seemed to shimmer with a thousand lights. An angel.

“Why do you seek death, my child?” the ethereal woman asked.

“I, well, I miss my mother. I’ve got to know where she is. I’ve got to know what happens when you die.”

The angelic being said, “You will know soon enough, there is no reason to rush these things.”

“No. You don’t understand. My mother, she hurt so much before she died. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t comfort her, I didn’t even understand what she was going through.”

“She was going through a transition. For some people it’s easy, and for others it is harder. Take this man you met tonight, for example. His eyes were focused only on his physical existence, he couldn’t see or imagine where he needed to go next. But you helped him. You helped him find the door to the next world and you helped him on his way.”

She considered the angel’s words and said, “What about the baby? It was sad, alone, it had no one.”

“Yes, the baby was alone, until you came. You gave it comfort which allowed it to see where it needed to go. People are afraid of death, but they have no reason to be. It’s just a step on a very long journey. Because you have been to the other side before, your soul remembers its way back. You are uniquely qualified to help people make their transition.”

“Me?” she replied. “Is that what’s happening to me? Is that why I was drawn to the baby and the old man?”

“Yes,” the angel said. “You are sensitive to the call of the soul when it is passing.”

For a moment she felt awe and wonder. Then she remembered how she felt about death, God, and Heaven. “But I’m angry. Angry at God or whoever for taking my mother from me when I was just a little girl. Why did she have to die?”

“Because it was her time, my child. She had fulfilled her purpose here on Earth and it was time for her to move on. That’s how life works. The hardest part for people is making the transition. Most people die with fear in their hearts. Part of my duties are to help people make their transitions and to ease their fear.”

She pondered the angel’s words. “Are you some kind of Angel of Death or something?” She felt old anger, resentment, and sadness building inside her. “Are you the one who took my mother from me?”

“No, of course not. But I did ease her passing and I helped her find her way to the light. And she was grateful. Remember how you felt when your mother held your spirit in the light?”

She nodded mutely, remembering that feeling was the most comforting feeling she had ever had in her life. She would give anything to feel that way again.

“That’s what we do. I gather up the souls of people who have left their bodies but are afraid to step into the light. I deliver them to their loved ones waiting on the other side.”

“Were you there when I… when I tried to…?” she stuttered.

“No,” replied the angel. “Your mother caught you before you could pass forever into the light. But she brought you back because you needed another chance to live. To understand life before taking the next step.”

“Why me? Why did the old man and the baby call me to them when they had died?”

The angel smiled, “Well, it’s very simple, really. You were drawn to them because your soul could hear them. You were able to answer their call for comfort. Some people hear the call but don’t respond. You, however, did. You have a great deal of compassion inside you. Don’t forget to give some to yourself, child.”

Before she could ask another question, she felt herself being pulled backwards through the night. She awoke with a feeling of unease and wonder.

When she was 19 her father had a massive coronary one morning while the two of them ate breakfast together. He died so suddenly, there was nothing she could do. She clutched him, crying, begging him not to leave her. And then she saw his soul leave his body. He smiled down at her and said, “It’s okay, my child. I am safe. What you hold is just my shell. I go now to be with your mother. I love you. Live well. We shall meet again.”

And she finally understood. Many things.

When she was 21 her soul spent every night traveling to the side of people on the verge of death. She spoke to them, though only a few could actually hear her. She helped some cross over and others she merely watched as their souls left their bodies and moved to the light. She learned that if she peered very carefully into the light she could see the waiting arms of loved ones ready to embrace their dearly departed. A few of the souls required special handling for they were very afraid of death. In time she decided that this was her calling, to help people make their transition.

When she was 23 she let the angels know she was ready. Quietly, in the night, with no pain at all, and with no apparent cause, her body shut down. She stretched forth her hand and peeled herself away from her shell. Standing before her was the light, but near her bed, she saw the angel she had met before.

“Do you understand what it is we ask of you?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Do you accept your appointment?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Come to the light and let it embrace you. There are a few people inside that I’m sure you’d like to see again.”

Into the light she drifted and was immediately embraced by her mother and her father. They all laughed and drank in each other’s warmth and love. She was home. She was happy. She felt wonderful.

A short while later, she began her official duties. Sometimes she was called to the side of babies who simply did not know where to go. Other times she was there to help an old soul remember where it truly belonged. Sometimes she was urgently called to the living who were about to die suddenly; those were the ones who often refused to believe they had passed on, the ones she had to explain things to.

And so it was today, as she rode in the back of the limousine with a middle-aged businessman barking orders into his cell phone. He had no idea the numbness in his arm was serious. He sat ignoring the pain in his chest so he could command his people to buy a thousand more shares of something unimportant. But she could see his soul, and it knew what was coming, even if he didn’t. It took just a few minutes for his life to fall aside. She caught his soul in her arms and began to explain. To his credit, it took just a few minutes for him to accept his situation once he understood what had happened to him. He thanked her, looked sadly at his body in the back of the limousine, uselessly clutching his cell phone, and moved on into the light.

She smiled, content, and made her way to her next appointment.